19. Mai 2015

This is it.

This is where the chapter ends.  I knew this had to come, but I never realized it would be so soon.
A year has passed and I’m standing here, waiting to return to a whole another world that the one I’ve lived in for the last few months.
I will soon fight the tears and give hugs and goodbyes to the people who have meant the most to me lately. The people who at one point didn’t know anything about me and yet they agreed to open their homes and hearts to me. The people I was randomly put in classes with and who later became my new best friends. The people who have showed me cultures and parts of the world I’ve never seen before. The people who helped me find myself.
I am about to leave this life I built up over the last year, and it is time to let go now. In a few days I will come into town and see the familiar roads and buildings and it will seem like only yesterday.
I will see the people I had to fight the tears with and give hugs and goodbyes to a year ago. I will slowly get back to the normal life I used to live...
I will soon start to realize how much things have changed, how much I have changed. I will desperately try to hold on to every person and every memory from my host country; but sooner or later I will have to realize that I have a lot to leave behind. A few days from now I will leave. I will take down my pictures and pack down my clothes. I will see the town one last time before I get on the flight back to my home country. No more spontaneous trips. No more speaking my second language every day, and no more people making fun of my accent.
I will put my memories away for right now. It is time to leave this dream and get back to the real world. The world where I grew up and where I became the person I am today. This year has changed me a lot, and I will have to dig deep inside to find the strength to adjust to the big changes in my life – again.
Just a few days from now I will arrive, A few days from now I will walk into my old house and my old bedroom. Every emotion will pass through me as I reflect on my life and how much it has changed the last few months. 
I will unpack my things and I will have a dinner with my family. I will go back to reality. How long will it take me before I miss my host country? Missing someone isn´t about how long it has been since you´ve seen them, or the amount of time since you´ve talked. It ´s about that very moment when you´re doing something and wishing they were right there with you. Even though it´s going to be hard; how lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard?

But this is not a goodbye. This is an “I´ll see you later.”



I want to thank everybody who made this year so amazing. I´m blessed to be in the rotary District 5010 and with the Sitka Rotary Club.  I want to thank the best YEO Shannon Haugland for all the things she did for me. I want to thank Cyndy, Keith and Veronica Gibson for one of best Hostfamily and all you done for me. I´ll hope you have an awesome vacation on Italy and Germany. I want to thank Pam, Scott, Halyee, Delainey Steffes for the best Hostfamily. I´m so happy to have you in my life. Thank you for everything you done for me. Thank you that you took me to Disneyworld and showed me how amazing Disney is and I should start watching movies! I love you all with all my heart. And with every thank you I mean it more and more. I can´t describe in words how thankful I am for everything you done for me.